F is for Fathers

I wish that I could say I learned everything I know about being a dad from my father, but I can’t do that. I only lived with my dad for the first 13 years of my life. He was a hard working man and a member of the National Guard and so he was seldom home. When he was there the only thing he really did other than fight with my mom was watch TV. I have little to no memories of any father son time spent fishing, playing catch, talking about life or really anything at all. In fairness he likely has Aspergers so he’s likely to be nearly incapable of those kinds of connections. It wasn’t all bad though, I had two older brothers, uncles and the best grandfather any boy could ever want. I cherish everything that each one of them taught me as a boy.

Today, my father and I rarely see each other and in fact he’s never met BG. It’s ok I’ve come to grips with that a long time ago. It helped that during my senior year in high school remarried my mom remarried. The man she married, RC, is a wonderful dad and love both me and my children as his own. 

I try to do my best to do right by LM and BG, but I often fail. I get distracted by outside things and waste valuable time that could be spent with them on unimportant things. I get angry when thet aren’t on thei best behavior. I sometimes tell myself that at least I’m doing better than my dad did, but I know that shouldn’t be the measuring stick. I need to be the best I can be for them. They deserve that and more.

  

12 thoughts on “F is for Fathers

    • Sam April 10, 2016 / 8:56 am

      Toughest gig I’ve ever had. So many go through it blind and wing it. I’m guilty of that a lot of times, but I need to change.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic April 8, 2016 / 7:43 pm

    I totally empathize with how you feel. I am not close to my father at all and I often question if I am a good father to my children. It can be tough!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sam April 10, 2016 / 9:02 am

      I actually had a dream about him last night. We all ran into him at the movies and he barely even acknowledged the kids. I could so see that same scene playing out the same way in real life.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Just Plain Ol' Vic April 10, 2016 / 9:53 am

        Yup, same with me.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Barbara In Caneyhead April 17, 2016 / 8:16 pm

    You are trying and that counts for a LOT. Kids can sense that. Some of my kids favorite memories are when their Dad just played for a few moments with them, be it tickling or frisbee, or what. He also let them join in whatever he was doing around the house, which makes little ones feel important, lets them spend extra time with you and lets them start learning life skills. Every day just ask the Lord to let you be the best dad you can be and everything will be fine.
    Revisit the Tender Years with me during the #AtoZChallenge at Life & Faith in Caneyhead!

    Liked by 1 person

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